i miss him
more with music, but it is always there
it is easier to miss him when i am drunk
it hurts both more and less
i miss his strong heart, full of conviction and passion and desire to do good
i miss his shiny aura, the way he would play the guitar and drag everyone into his joy
he could light up a room, make you feel seen and loved and valued
if i close my eyes and play the lute, i hear his laughter and his corrections, i can feel his hands guiding mine, i can almost smell the rain because i could only ever practice when it rained
he was strong and shiny
i hope he still is