i had thought that my biggest fear was dying
i gave up everything, for the best chance not to die
but yesterday
i heard her voice
and the terror i felt
it was not all for me
it was for my. . .my friends
the fear i felt was for Astris and Meryll who were in the most immediate danger
for Grim who was with me
for everyone that i would not be able to protect
i sold my soul to Her, i gave up Caleb, i did horrible awful things to keep my own survival
but now i would willingly die if it meant they could survive
Astris is right
i will watch their back
if nothing else, i will protect them