Early Adventuring Life, or The Working Man is a Sucker

After I summoned Minion to join us, we realized that the goblin caves are too small for him to be able to get around. I thanked him for coming, bid him farewell, and he vanished. Hmm, what else could I do to help us? I decided that it would be prudent to prepare a bit before we explored the cave and encountered any traps.
 
The thought of traps got me thinking that we could use a fun way to find them. I led the group back to the bodies of the four goblin sentries that we had killed on our way in. As I thought about it, I decided that I did not want anyone, especially not Daviren Hosk, as he might not like my display of devil magic, as what I intend is considered by most to be dark magic. He might not care, but I prefer to have nobody from Sandpoint know that I can do this. So, I did what any infernal Tiefling would do in my situation. I lied. I pulled a flask of black paint from a belt pouch and explained that it was an alchemical ointment that would allow me to animate the dead. I further explained that I had taken this ointment from that damn Gnome, Nisk. I had figured that it would be better for us to put it to use doing heroic things as adventurers than whatever dark plans he might have for it.
 
As soon as I got close enough to the bodies of the four sentries, I used my infernal power to animate them as zombies. I telepathically commanded for them to remain still. I then used the paint to put nonsense glyphs on each of them, and then put some paint on my face, explaining that the paint on my face would allow me to command them. I then told them to rise, and they obeyed. With a goblin zombie leading the way, we entered the cave.
 
Soon after we got into the cave, we had met up with some goblin guards, who retreated instead of fighting us. Inuyasha followed a fleeing goblin into a trap. He got stuck in a pit of sawdust as he was hit by some logs that were dropped on him. The goblin was waiting for this to happen and lit the sawdust on fire. My goblin zombies freed him. Yohan performed a sexy dragon dance for Inuyasha to relieve his wounds.
 
A bit later, a group of goblins insulted us, clearly trying to goad us into another trap. Inuyasha and Storm Shadow ran ahead of us into their choke point. It did not work, as they were the only ones to get hurt. Perhaps they could have done a better job with their plan had they had more goblins in the area.
 
The cave became a cavern with a large stream. It was big enough for Minion, and I did not want to have to swim. I called for Minion to carry me. He foolishly let himself get hit by a net that the goblins had launched at us and I had to cut us free. After we got to the other side of the stream I sent him away.
 
Then we started to encounter the real traps:

• Zombie One fell into a pit trap onto some spears. While it was kind of fun to see it try to get out of the spikes that impaled it, I cancelled it and the body went limp.


• Zombie Two got hit smashed by a rock, leaving a squishy trail of goblin goo.


• Zombie Three walked into a tripwire and got itself melted into a puddle of goo by acid.

Only Zombie Four remained as we arrived at a very large cave, filled with the remaining goblins that were waiting to try to kill us. I called for Minion to help us again. Zombie Four, Inuyasha, and Daviren engaged the goblins and goblin zombies that were blocking our way into the cave. Zombie Four with a spear, Inuyasha with his sword, Daviren with his bow, and Billy played a song for us. I had no idea where Storm Shadow was.
 
Surveying the situation, I decided to use my infernal power to teleport me, Minion, and Kat to a position that is behind the goblin line that allowed for us to take on their three bosses: an alchemist, a muscular goblin freak, and a necromancer.
 
As soon as we popped in, I put myself into an even better position and said "hello" by zapping all three with a lightning bolt. They all survived. I had heard that Boss Fights could be tough.
 
Kat pounced the necromancer, but did not manage to kill it. Minion walked up to it and smashed the necromancer into the floor, flattening it. This had the side effect of cancelling its zombies, which dropped to the floor, greatly reducing the goblin gang.
 
Kat then pounced the alchemist, wounded it. Daviren's arrow shot into our part of the cavern and the killed the goblin freak with one shot. Only the wounded alchemist boss remained.
 
The alchemist drank a healing potion and threw an acid flask at Kat, burning him. Kat swatted at it as it scampered away from him. But it did not get far as an arrow came from nowhere and pinned its head to a wall. That would be Storm Shadow's work.
 
No more bosses, I shot a lightning bolt at the two skeletons that the necromancer had pulled off his robe prior to dying, blasting them to bits. As a group, we slaughtered the remainder of the goblins and then did what any adventurer would do: look for loot. I took the small robes from the necromancer, which I will make into a hood. I also took a couple of scrolls.
 
We went back to town, got paid, and rested for a few days. I used up the last of my alchemical supplies and made some more healing and relief potions.
 
Sheriff Hemlock came by. He told Inuyasha and I how great we are, and I agreed. Apparently he did not realize that I am a wizard. Why wouldn't I be? I was raised by the wizard, Ilsoari Gandethus, who is like a father to me. Not very good at putting facts together, I guess. Which brings me to why he came. He wanted us to help him with an investigation to look at something for Father Zantus.
 
As soon as we got to the crypt, it we found that the door was already opened as some skeletons came out of the vault and attacked us. Inuyasha destroyed three of them with his sword in a spectacular display of skill and power. Billy destroyed one with his ranseur, which surprised me as I never saw him fight before. I shot at two skeletons with a lightning bolt, destroying one of them as its bones melted and broke apart.
 
The others finished off the rest of the skeletons. It looks like the goblins had left a surprise, as an empty "skeleton robe", like the one I wear as a hood, was dropped on the ground. Father Tobyn's body has been stolen. We had not encountered it as a zombie, yet, so where is it? Billy observed the dust and non-dust that there were six goblins and a set of man-sized boots. They had climbed over the wall and left town.
 
The sheriff thanked us for our help, wondering who would help the goblins. I had briefly wondered if he was in on something, as why else would he have us come on an investigation, but his reactions seemed genuine, and I could not think of any reason why he would have us kill some skeletons. Also, he paid us some for our help.
 
The next day, we were asked by Lis Hambly to take care of some wolves that are terrorizing her farm outside of town. We agreed and went with her to her farm. We had food and tea with her and her family as they told us about the wolves in the area. They were genuinely afraid for their lives. I know that feeling.
 
We set up an ambush to take them out when they come to the farm that night. Minion found a good spot for the two of us to use to attack them from. Inuyasha left a fire bomb that he took from the dead alchemist for the wolves to encounter with something tasty as a lure.
 
After the fire trap went off, Kat limped around as yummy bait for the wolves near my hiding place. Billy bleated like a sheep, also luring the wolf pack in for dinner. Hopefully we do not actually become the dinner.
 
As a group of five wolves got ready to lunge at Kat, I timed it just right and blasted all of them with a single lightning bolt, saving Kat. He spit out the apple from his mouth and joined Inuyasha and Minion in our defensive line against the remaining wolves. Minion smashed a huge wolf into the ground as I zapped another wolf. The others finished off the rest of the wolf pack. Looking at the dead, huge alpha wolf, it had some kind of ghoulish disease.
 
The Hambly family was very thankful, offering us some money, which was all they had, but we declined and settled for a meal instead. Inuyasha skinned the wolves and we got some money for the pelts we sold when we got back to town.
 
The brewer, Gaven Deverin, came to us with a ghost problem. He offered us free beer for a week if we could put a stop to whatever is haunting his brewery. We went to the Curious Goblin and I recruited my best friend, Egon Musk, to help us, as this was one of his favorite topics. Egon led the investigation with his ghost hunting devices. We planned to spend the night and wait for the ghosts. I got bored and went to sleep.
 
I dreamed that I was in a massive library, with so many tomes containing the knowledge I have always wished to find. I picked up a book and was unable to read its strange symbols. I tried to use my magic to read it, but it would not work. I tried another book. And then another. I could not read any of them. It was terrible to hold books that have what I want to learn but I cannot read it.
 
Then I realized I could hear the sound of angry villagers behind me. I know that sound well, but I have never heard so many at once. I turned to see that they were holding torches and pitch forks, just like in the stories. They were chanting as the mob surged forward to burn down the library. What a waste of such a wonderful trove!
 
Worried that I would be killed in the stampede and the raging inferno, I ran as the flames followed me. I ran for my life towards a strange-looking door with magical symbols that I did no recognize. I opened it and entered, slamming it shut behind me. I heard bolts on the door lock shut. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized that I was in a hallway and the walls were drenched in blood and decorated with some infernal writing with strange graffiti. The smell of blood and carnage made me feel queasy.
 
At the end of the terrible hallway was an altar of flesh with a massive tome hovering above it in the air. I wondered what such a book might contain. I really wanted to open that book. After I started to flip through the pages, the book came alive, grew terrible teeth, and bit off my arm before I could react.
 
I woke up in a cold sweat and my arm hurt at the top like it had been bitten off. I made sure it was still there, and fortunately, it was. The others also had nightmares, and we had all woken up at the same time.
 
At around midnight I had a dream where I was surrounded by stupid people, saying stupid things that caused me to feel actual pain to hear due to their level of stupidity. I realized it was just another dream and decided to walk up to stop the cacophony of brainlessness. It was too painful to hear and being awake and tired was preferable.
 
We all had awoken from nightmares. Egon declared that a curse was the cause of the hauntings and we should find the object that it was tied to. It did not take long for Billy to spot a lever that opened a secret door that led to a secret, evil cavernous area below the brewery.
 
In the secret chamber we encountered a group of shadows that matched our own group. They were our shadow stunt doubles. Inuyasha started us off by igniting the weapons of our allies to be shrouded in abyssal flame. Storm Shadow wasted no time and assassinated his own double with a single flaming arrow.
 
I shot mine and Billy's shadows with lightning, noticeably wounding Billy's dobule as it screeched in pain. Billy wounded mine with his flaming ranseur, and Inuyasha wounded his own double with his flaming sword.
 
With his second flaming arrow, Storm Shadow wounded Kat's double. Kat attacked his own double with flaming claws, tearing it to shreds as it screeched until it faded into nothingness. We then took out the remainder of our doubles and explored a cavern to find the remains of a necklace, which had exploded as the last double died. It had been the source of the curse. I took the two abyssal tomes that were in the room.