It's no secret that I have a problem talking about how I am feeling. It's made worse by the fact that every time I talk its an apology or a lie to cover up something stupid.
I know you see me as a child. Not a kid. A child.
And while I don't appreciate that, I know it will take me growing in maturity to get to the point where you stop viewing me that way. That will take time. And we have things to discuss about us, but that isn't what this is about. This is about showing my appreciation to everyone who's been there for me so far.
Thank you, Gael. For helping me keep my family safe. Thank you for your calm mentality and deduction skills. Thank you for being a problem solver, and for viewing the world analytically and unbiasly. Thank you for keeping Thistle's secret safe until she was ready to show us. And thank you for needlessly putting yourself in harms way whenever danger rose up.
I've been told to talk about what I want to. Not from you, but in regards to us.
I almost hate to admit this, but I want to be more like you as I grow older. I want to be someone who can help. I want to be someone with answers and solutions. I want to be someone levelheaded enough to face problems in front of me with calm and ease. I want to be able to speak like you do. Easily, fluidly, directly. I want to grow up and mature. And even if I disagree with how you got to where you are, again, a conversation for another day, I know it will take me years of work to get to that point and...
I want you to be there as I take those steps.
I want to stay on this team with you.
You are capable. Magic or no. Don't forget that, Gael.
-Virdan
P.S. I will never admit these feelings in person, and probably will never admit to them again in general. But it's the truth.