Dust, Wind and Bones

I knew I was right about underground stuff.
 
We ran into these skeleton musicians that NEARLY KILLED ME but I guess we're friends with them now? Honestly I don't know. Charlie seemed to like them, and she's a good judge of character I think. So... whatever. The craziness that happened there... I thought we were in trouble. Really in trouble. And I gave it my all. I... couldn't match BOTH of their winds, but I was able to help Thistle and Gael and Panlo get up close without being pushed back. They're all... stronger than me. At fighting, I mean. But... without me I don't know if they would have been able to make it. And... that felt...
 
Good.
 
Really fucking good.
 
Gael and I aren't...perfect. I still disagree with his way of life and how he got where he is, but I can't deny that we are able to work well together. He said he thinks my magic is useful and wishes he could do magic like me. And um... I don't get that. He's older and stronger. It's... annoying. I don't really add up to anything compared to him I guess prowess wise. He cheated to get it, yeah, but I'm still not...
 
I have a lot of work to do. But...
 
I finally have the place to do that work.
 
We are in Xhorhas. We are safe. We are... I am...
 
I broke down crying in the stables on the back of this turtle thing. Franklin and Bonnie seemed worried. Thank the gods they can't speak to the rest of the party. It was ugly. It was happiness, relief, fear, sadness, mourning, celebration, everything rolled up in one. Happiness and relief that my family is safe, fear of what's ahead of us, sadness and mourning for those I had to leave behind, for those I need to forget or accept the fact that they are gone. Either...really dead or just...
 
I'll never see mom and dad again... or Shendra...
 
But then... celebration. We are SAFE. I did it. We did it. Without everyone here; Charlie, Thistle, Gael, Panlo, Ael, Loc, Viertree, and even Tali, Kayrin, and Rholis we wouldnt have made it.
 
Oh... and without Trill too, I suppose...
 
I don't want to write about Trill. Honestly...haven't seen that much of her... I guess that's how everyone felt a few weeks ago....
 
But... besides that... for now...
I can't feel anything but relief, and peace, and hopefullness. Like... every weight on my shoulder has been lifted (yes even Trill's, which is not a happy loss, BUT I'M NOT WRITING ABOUT IT).
 
And Kayrin seems closer to everyone. Well... closer to Viertree specifically. That's really good for her. She was always distant from all of us. Seeing her have a good rolemodel she can look up to is reassuring. I hope....I hope Viertree cares for her too. I know things here in Xhorhas are different from home, and Kayrin needs a mom. Or an Aunt, or whatever.
 
I... still don't know what happens next. and I think that's what I'm most scared about.
Who else am I going to lose?
 
I don't know if I'm needed here now. In cities, in politics, mixed up with Kryn Dynasty stuff. I don't...
 
I'm going to miss the wilderness. I'm going to miss a lot of things...
 
Everyone has someone else now. Kayrin and Vietree, Thistle and Trill, Rholis and Loc, Panlo and Charlie, Ael and Gael even get along really well too.
 
I've got me.
 
But I care for all of them... and I wanna... protect them. Even if it hurts to like... see everyone pairing off and finding fast friends or... more than that.
 
I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT. I'M NOT. NO NO NO NO NO.
 
That's it.. That's all. All done. We're safe. Whatever happens next... happens next. Thats it.
 
And I guess I'll still be writing here. To you. And... you'll never get to read this. But... I hope you know I'm writing to you. Thinking about you.
 
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