The Shepherd's Crook vs. The Chosen's Book

by Virdan Zandril

I think I have to rethink some things.

Thistle and I talked a bit about my abilities. Not my wildshapes, but my abilities. Sometimes I forget I am inately...powerful... in other ways.

She had mentioned that if we come across a group of animals that it would be my job to help us get past them.

Turns out we did. And uh... I did a terrible job at it. I hardly know how to talk with people much less animals. There was a group of snakes that really didn't want to talk. I failed that and it nearly destroyed me. The one example Thistle could think of regarding my usefulness and I utterly failed. But then the group came together and tried to find a way around the snakes. And I knew I had the ability to help. And that felt good. It...still felt bad because I couldn't do MY thing... but it felt nice to be part of a team effort to solve a problem. And I have to thank Thistle for giving me the...balls...to even try.

Thistle said something I disagreed with though. She said Gael got where he is through hard work and through years of study but... his book tells him everything. It knew us, it knew the items we found, he's connected to some being (kind of like I am in a way), but that being just....GIVES him the answers. That's cheating. And it really...pisses me off. Cause I TRY EVERY DAY to be better and I FAIL 90% of the time, but this guy is just.... I thought I liked him. I though he was calm and collected and confident. But I just can't get over the fact that I spend every day falling on my face and LEARNING from it when someone can just... have a book. I have a crook. The tool of a working man. The tool of someone who struggles in the sun. A tool of someone who's JOB it is to protect his flock every day. A book is a symbol of the elite. It is selfish. You read, you learn. It benefits no one but the reader. It's not a tool, it's a crutch. And then it goes back on its shelf. Locked away to collect dust until the reader is dead and the pages crumble away. And that's why I'm better than Gael. Because I try. I fail. I try again. I work myself to the bone to crawl out from the muck that has been my past and work for that. And I respect myself for that.

Woah... that's new...

I kind of owe Thistle that. She kept showing belief in me, even if she does that annoying "You can do it, Virdan" garbage before I fall on my face and embarrass myself.

But this is how you get better right? The RIGHT way to get better? You fail and fall upwards until you're as strong as Thistle or talented as Charlie or nimble as Panlo or powerful as Ael. Hard work and failure. And friends at your back to lift you back up.

And that night... I hit the target. I let the arrow fly and it hit the target.

Here I come Xhorhas.

Continue reading...

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The Shepherd's Crook vs. The Chosen's Book

Continue reading...

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