Dear Charlie

by Virdan Zandril

I've realized recently I spend too much time apologizing and regretting and not enough time appreciating what I have found these last 3 weeks. Found in myself and found with all of you. So. This is my first step in tipping that balance.

Should I tell you all to your faces? Probably.

I'll get there one day.

Charlie, ever since you helped us out on the road to Nogvurot; taking pity on our situation, walking with us, playing music for us, and generally being your wonderful self, I have slowly started seeing you more and more as family. Family is really important to me. I think I've made that clear. And you've become a part of that for me. You fit in the same place in my heart as Shendra and Tali. You are someone I can look up to, but who doesn't look down on me. An older cousin or maybe even an older sibling. Of everyone here you are always the one to approach me and ask for my opinion, my feelings, my reasonings. I really appreciate that. Deeply. Thank you for taking the chance on me. If you hadn't we wouldn't be here in Rosohna.

And there's more than that too.

Thank you for being the heart fo this group. We're all lost in a lot of ways, but having you with us has been absolutely refreshing. Not that you don't have anything going on. I can tell from your face yesterday that something is up, but your general attitude and personality is, I think, really important for a lot of us here. We all love and care about you, Charlie.

I have been thinking about what I want a lot more. Not from you, but from myself and for myself.

I want to learn how to play some sort of instrument. I don't know which, or how I could even learn, but it seems like such a nice release for emotion when I'm feeling really pent up or can't express how I feel. I want to start spending more time together. I want to be a part of your life and I want you to be a part of mine. I want to be there for you like you were there for me in Nogvurot, or in the wilds, or on our way to Rosohna.

I want to stay on this team with you.

You are a good storyteller, a great musician, and an even better friend. Thank you, Charlie.

-Virdan

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