If You Can't Take the Heat...

Mama... I miss you so much.
 
You remember how every time I would get in trouble with the teachers at school or the other children, you would hug me and tell me it would all be okay? I wish you could hug me now... I think I may have made a mistake the others will not forgive.
 
I cannot blame them... there are only so many mistakes a person can make before they are pushed away, I think.
 
So.
 
It was the morning after our wonderful dinner, and Dio wanted to explore the city so he could see the extent of the Purifier influence before leaving for this island where his brother might be. We walked around and saw much of the city, and there were so many people in lines everywhere! Dio said this was unusual, so we stopped to ask what was happening; apparently the Purifiers are in control of the supplies to the city now, and people have been told to stock up in case they cut off supplies. Why would you ever want to starve your people? What are these Purifiers thinking? I think it is obvious, mama, but many people in Newood do not seem happy to have these invaders here, and I cannot blame them.
 
We continue to explore and head into the “old city”, which has it’s own wall around it. This was what Newood used to be and they have built around it in the years to come, I think is what Dio said. In the middle of this old city, there was a temple that Dio wanted to see. I have never been inside a temple before, mama, and it was... very confusing. There were not very many people there at all--for some reason I always pictured temples being full with people--and there was a table at the front that people put coins on. An offering, Dio called it. He seemed sad at how little there was, so I copied what he did and placed 10 gold on the table (I do not know if that is a lot or a little, gold still confuses me). Then Dio went to pray, and I followed so as not to do something wrong or inappropriate. But mama, I realized I do not know how to pray. I know the word and it’s definition, but I have never done it myself, so I do not know if I did it right. It was really a lot of what I did when I was first trying to meditate; quieting the mind and trying not to get distracted. It was a new experience, at the very least, and Dio seemed to feel a little bit better afterward.
 
On our way out of the temple, Dio had seen enough for the day, but I wanted to see more of the city! So I asked if we could go look for some beads, and Dio agreed! Oh mine gosh, mama, the store in the marketplace had SO MANY BEADS! Glass beads, too, which are so much rarer for me to have since I only can make mine from stones! Oh mine gosh, I could not choose one to buy, so I bought one of every color and type! And the store owner was so kind, he gave me some string to put them on!
 
I was feeling so good, mama! This was what I had hoped exploring a city would be like! All the buildings, and the people, and the markets, it was all so wonderful! But in my excitement, I may forgotten where I was and made a very big mistake...
 
You see, this purifier was passing by and shoved a woman over in the streets, and then he did not even stop to apologize or make sure she was okay! So, feeling so good after my beads adventure, I thought a way to spread my joy was to stop this bully.
 
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
 
I did not do anything to him, mama. I only talked. But as you know, this would not be the first time my talking has gotten me into the trouble.
 
I told him he was being rude, and he should apologize to the woman, but he got all offended and said he did not need to apologize and all these things. And then he tried to punch me right in the face. Do not worry, mama, I got out of the way no problem, but I suddenly realized that what I was doing... I was angering a Purifier. Someone who could cause great trouble for Dio and his family... what was I thinking!? If these people take others away for believing in beings they do not like, I am certain they also take people away for fighting them in the streets! And I did not want to be the cause of Dio’s family getting into trouble or being arrested or something (and Tunaka was at their home, and what if he got caught up in it too)!
 
So, I tried to stop it. They attacked me a few times with their swords, but I gave them some gold, and told them I was not allowed to cause trouble (which is what Dio had said before we left to explore), so I would not fight them or bother them anymore. It worked, they were starting to leave...
 
But then Harley stepped in. He did not like that they attack me, and he told them to make it right, but just as before, they said no and began to attack again.
 
I do not quite understand what happened next.
 
Suddenly Kressara is in a rage and attacking, and Dio is telling me to stop trouble (or I think that is what he says) and Harley is bringing up his tentacles to fight, and everyone in the square is watching us. I tried to stop it all again, but then Dio shouts at me--I mean very much shouts--and orders me to turn into a bear. I never want to disobey an order from my Capitan, but I very much did not want to hurt these soldiers either; hurting them would only put Dio’s family in danger! It would put Tunaka in danger!
 
I do not remember the next few moments, because a Purifier got a good hit on me, and I went down hard. Several times. It was not good, mama. Not good at all. Lucky for me, Dio was there to heal me, but I could tell he was not happy to be doing it because he would rather be fighting.
 
Then more Purifiers began to show up. It was not a fight we would win, I did not think. Dio finally shouted for us to retreat, but we were not going to get out of there on foot. At least, I was not. I was very hurt, mama. So I tried a new spell! I tried the polymorph on Kressara, and it worked! I was able to turn her into a giant eagle so she could carry Dio out of there! That left Harley and me still surrounded by Purifers. So... I breathed deep, and I begged my magics to please work for me this time, and I jumped and tried once again to turn into a flying beastie.
 
Mama... It worked! I did it! After so much time, I finally did it! And it could not have worked at a better time! Now that we could fly, we were able to get out of there without much trouble, and we made it to the forest across the river where it would be much harder for them to follow us, let alone find us.
 
But there was no time to celebrate my new magics. The minute we landed, Dio and Harley were very much mad at me. They had wanted me to fight back and attack, and when I tried to explain why I did not, Dio only became angrier. He said he wanted to make a point to the people of Newood, to show that standing up to the Purifiers is possible, and that they can be beaten. I honestly had not thought about the others watching us at all, or what they would think of what we did, so I very much feel bad for not realizing what Dio was trying to do.
 
But... I still do not think I was wrong. For once, I think it is Dio who does not understand. He does not know how bad the Purifiers can be. How dangerous. They are not only strong, but they are clever, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. We are not willing to do that. We will not hurt others to take them down. So, like Tunaka says, we have to be smarter.
 
I truly believe that if we had stayed to fight, we would be dead... or worse. I believe we were making the same mistakes we did with the sahouagen, and I want very much to not make those mistake again.
 
I do not want anyone else to die.
 
I tried to explain all this to Dio, but I do not think he believes I know the Purifiers as well as he does.
 
Oh mama... I did not mean to cause so much trouble. I did not mean to hurt or anger my friends (Kressara is the only one who did not seem angry with me, but she is very quiet, so she may just not have been speaking her anger).
 
We are staying in the forest for now, because we do not know if it would be safe to stay in the city.
 
All because of some beads, mama.
 
I am sorry... I do not feel like looking at the positives right now. I cannot be mad because my friends have every right to be upset with me. And I know it will not last forever, they are far too kind for that. But this is just another item in the long list of things Memen has messed up. I cannot help but worry that it will be too much very soon.
 
I will give them time to be angry. Things will be okay when we figure out what to do next. I am certain of it.
 
Goodnight, mama. I wish more than anything that I could hear your voice tonight. I miss you so very much. So very very much.
 
-Memen