The Great Escape

I could not sleep! Mama, I have to finish the story. It was just... it was such a hard day and talking to you always makes hard days better, so I will write this and pretend you are here and maybe then I will be able to sleep better.
 
Okay. So.
 
We were running for our lives out of this tower, all of us super tired and out of spells and everything. We are going as fast as we can, but mama, I am holding everyone back! I never EVER thought I would be the slow one in the water, but without my beasties, I cannot keep up with the others. Fortunately, Dio is able to move quite quickly, so he helps me until we get up the stairs and out of the water.
 
The minute we make dry land, we run and run and run, all the way to the entrance where we meet up with the freed prisoners. With Sahouagen hot on our tails, I cast water walk on those that cannot swim well, and we rush towards the ship.
 
But the ship is SO far away, mama! We run and run and run again, but the sahouagen jump into the water and start to catch up. Kressara keeps trying to fight them off, Laughingsteel too, and they are both getting very hurt and I am almost out of spells to help them.
 
So I made a decision, mama: if I cannot heal my friends, I will protect them by giving the sahouagen something to fight. Do not worry, I do not stop running, but I move much slower because I decide to cast Moonbeam and attack these guys as I go.
 
I know I know I know! You would have wanted me to run and stay safe, but mama, I had to do something! I had been so useless this entire mission, I had to do SOMETHING.
 
And you know, it worked! I slowed the sahouagen down quite a bit and killed a few of them which gave the others room to escape. But then Roger and one of his crewman stayed to fight too, and Kressara and Dio came back to help me, and suddenly all of my friends were in danger again. It was so scary, mama... I could hear Harley shouting at us to run for the ship (he was quite far ahead) but I could not leave until I knew the others were safe.
 
Then I got hit pretty hard, mama. I think I passed out for a minute because I was suddenly lying on the water with Dio standing over me casting a healing spell (that is the second time he has saved my life). And by the time I got back up, Capitan Roger had gone down.
 
Here is where I made mistake number four, mama. The worst one of them all. I had enough in me for one more little healing spell. All I had to do was run to Roger and I would have saved him. But when the moment came... I got too scared. Because I knew that if I tried to move anywhere, I would not have Dio or Kressara to protect me, and I would probably go down. So I... I did not move. I stayed where I was. And then Roger died.
 
I could have saved him, mama. I could have! I should have! But I... I let my fear get me... and now he is gone.
 
We have not given up hope just yet. The Onclave is very powerful, we are going to go back and hope that they can save him somehow. But I do not think I will ever be able to forgive myself for this one mama... it was a very difficult day.
 
Oh mama, I wish you here. I wish you could hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I wish I was stronger so I could have done more.
 
I should have done more.
 
I am sorry. Today's letter is not very happy. But like you always say, mama: tomorrow can only get better.
 
I love you mama.
 
-Memen