100 Questions About Midnight, Part 2 - Past Influences, Beliefs and Opinions

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29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
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Definitely the Ice Banshee hunt that served as my trial. It solidified my path as a hunter of monsters, I lost my best friend, made a new one and truly learned of mortality. It was the event that set me down the path to mature greatly. Obviously I made mistakes along the way still but every mistake has always made me look back at that moment. Hard not to when it also left its mark in the literal sense too.
 
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30. Who has had the most influence on you?
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It's a toss up between my father and Notroc. My father helped set me on my path and helped me improve every step of the way. Notroc though has shown me how to enjoy life. The strength of loyalty and having companions that can watch your back. His death also taught me how fragile those bonds can be and that without strength and skill they can be cut ever so easily.
 
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31. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
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All other problems of the event aside, I'd say tearing apart a mutated wyvern pretty much on my own almost definitely qualifies. First silver earring I earned that the others of my team didn't share in.
 
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32. What is your greatest regret?
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Not being strong enough to prevent Notroc's death. Not being fast enough. Not being observant enough or fast enough. He wasn't the only death either. Katid Goldmane could have been saved too had I been better. He may have spent all of our childhood harassing me but I'd much rather been able to prove him wrong in a manner that not even he could deny.
 
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33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
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Definitely the time that I contemplated murdering an entire village in rage at them using their brethren who were cripplingly mutated as wyvern bait to buy time for themselves. Followed by the slow torture of that wyvern as I started ripping it apart piece by piece. Linlin and Hargak were uneasy around me for a while after that. Hard for me to regret that though. What that mutated wyvern did to those people was horrific to put it lightly.
 
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34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
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Honestly the concept of a "criminal record" is pretty new to me. I assume there is something like that in the cities where I'm from but I only went to them for work. Never really came up. So short answer? No.
 
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35. When was the time you were the most frightened?
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The Ice Banshee hunt. I watched two people die right in front of me before she turned her sights on me. She even nearly grasped my heart, something that'd have been a death sentence for me as well, freezing my very soul. It was only a high risk manipulation of magic that saved my life. It was worse than a near death experience. It put my very existence at risk. Terror and adrenaline fueled all my actions that day. Fear of losing anyone else. Fear of erasure. Fear of disappointing my father and leaving him behind. Fear of not getting revenge for Notroc. It was a rough experience.
 
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36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
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A latrine was blown up around me.... long story involving a Ratotaskyn who specialized in bomb making. So skilled and precise that she could design magical explosives that could actively avoid catching people in the explosion. Still resulted in me being covered in shit. That was several days of baths.
 
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37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
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I would have prevented Notroc's death. He was my best friend. Why wouldn't I want to change an event like that? If I were forced to change something else though... my mother's death. Look, I care about all the people I met as a result and I'm happy with the way my life has gone but not knowing your parents? Where you truly come from? It can feel like there is something missing. Like you don't have all the pieces that have led you to be who you are.
 
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38. What is your best memory?
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That's a tough one really. Meeting NIlly for the first time was a highlight. My friendship with Notroc maybe. My 14th birthday when I knew I had my dad's approval and pride when he made my cloak maybe? The thing about "best memories" is that it can change depending on the day and situation. Whatever memory at the moment that you can look back on and smile is the best memory at that moment.
 
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39. What is your worst memory?
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Watching Notroc die in front of me. Then after the battle was over, just seeing his mangled and frozen face. I still have nightmares about it.
 
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40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
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Optimistic about my ability to constantly grow. My ability to grasp my own future going forward. Pessimistic about the general state of things though. There are always those who will try to screw things up for everyone. All it takes is one to ruin the lives of hundreds or even thousands. Those aren't the greatest of odds when it can take many to lift those that they hurt out of the mud.
 
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41. What is your greatest fear?
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Loss... losing my friends, my family, watching everything decay around me until I'm all alone in the deepest abyss. The worst part is the inevitability. That every person I meet I will one day have to do without. It is something I've never been good at dealing with.
 
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42. What are your religious views?
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God-like beings almost certainly exist in my world. Sometimes they make their existence quite undeniable as shown in our history in the catastrophes their battles have caused. Do I worship any of them? No. None of shown an interest in me or my village as far as I can tell. Instead we focus on the spiritual. The soul. The most vital part of every being's existence that must be protected at all costs so that its experiences can be passed on to future generations. For the soul always returns to the flow of the world to pass its memories onto the will of the world to then one day return. Usually with a clean slate, but there are certainly stories of those who managed to protect aspects of themselves to pass on to their reincarnations. The founders of our village are apparently among those, occasionally reincarnating as great leaders, but such a reincarnation hasn't occurred in my lifetime? It's usually kept secret until adulthood, so for all I know one could have been among those who have died for one reason or another. Certainly isn't unheard of.
 
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43. What are your political views?
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The strong have a responsibility to the weak. A leader has responsibility to every single person under them and a responsibility to do their best to provide for every need so they themselves have the opportunity and example to grow into strong leaders themselves. Those who instead hoard power and talk down to those they are meant to protect, blaming them for all their faults instead of taking responsibility are the worst scum of the earth. Hardship of some varieties may breed strength. but not every hardship can be beaten alone. At very least providing the example, the means, and the assistance necessary to pull one out of hardship is a must.
 
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44. What are your views on sex?
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Won't lie, I'm fairly open on the subject. As long as everyone is in agreement, go nuts, no matter which way you lean. Personally I'm only really attracted to women, but I don't hold it against anyone who thinks differently. For the most part I usually make it clear I don't limit myself to one individual, though I certainly would if there was someone I cared for enough that had a problem with my habits. That person just hasn't appeared, nor have I had a partner that has requested it of me yet.
 
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45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
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I can, have, and likely will again. Comes in part with the job. Monsters are an easy example much of the time as they usually see sentient beings as food sources. Obviously that creates a self-defense scenario which I find an acceptable reason. Murderers and destroyers of souls are definitely types that deserve nothing short of death. Basically if they provide any sort of threat to myself or my friends and family, I won't hesitate either. One should never be the instigator however. No matter how someone angers you, if they're not actually doing you harm, don't do them harm. Situations should also be considered some. The line is a tough one if I'm honest as I did once want to kill everyone in that village, but considering the circumstances, I honestly couldn't think of a better solution for them.
 
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46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
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Destroying a soul. You aren't just killing them at that point. You are erasing them entirely. Worse is that from current understanding? The soul feels every agonizing moment as if hundreds of years pass every second, being subjected to every terrible negative experience imaginable. Not sure if that is unique to those where I am from or if it's just from the known methods but every aspect of it is horrifying to imagine.
 
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47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
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Absolutely. I have yet to experience it beyond a few momentary sparks, but the feelings those sparks invoked make me feel if I found someone who could be my anchor and that I could share the joys and hardships of the world with, that spark could easily become an eternal fire.
 
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48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
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The right mentors, the will to press on through any hardship and companions that can fill in for your personal weaknesses.
 
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49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
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Truthfully? I try to be honest most of the time. However sometimes I do what I can to hide the pain I feel by turning that agony into celebration of the thing that I'm feeling the most pain about.
 
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50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
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Sometimes I can have a bad habit of underestimating short statured beings. I've come to regret it in the past for sure but it's something I try to keep aware of.
 
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51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
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There's a pretty long list.. I would hope many of the horrible things that immediately come to mind would be on such a list for many. Willfully betraying a friend or family would top the list however. They are the ones who helped me become who I am today. To sacrifice them for self gain would be to deny and taint myself.
 
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52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
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My comrades, whoever they might be. They are my reason for being. The thing that tie me down and keep me from a life of indulging in only my worst impulses.